Double whammy

The guys have been working on cleaning out FIL’s house for the past few weeks. It has been slow going and painful. I think if you’ve never had to clean out someone’s house, especially a packrat who liked to dumpster dive, you can’t understand how difficult it is. And if you have packrat tendencies yourself, it is even more difficult. And if you can't figure out the value of something, either monetary or sentimental, and your siblings can't either, well, back to the slow and painful.

At the same time, I've been "forced" to clean things up at home since we're getting a couple pieces of furniture. First, I gotta clear out a spot for them. Then I have to clear out a path to that spot. Or maybe I need to do that in the reverse order. No, I'm not as bad as that hoarders show, which I've never seen since we don't have cable because it is too expensive and we watch too much TV anyways and yes I'm going off on a tangent or two. Yes, I have lots of stuff, all valuable I'm sure. I did manage to part with some of my precious Tupperware collection, only because I've recently become convinced that glass containers are better (now I've started a jar collection). I found letters from J, Uncle T, and even, unfortunately, cards that I addressed and stamped, but never sent.

It has been difficult for me to see FIL's house being emptied and stressful trying to straighten up my own house at the same time. Somehow, I don't have a problem getting rid of his phone bills from ten years ago or appointment cards or junk mail that was made to look like it is from the government. But my own stuff? I finally got rid of checks from the 80s and the 46 cover letters from 1992 (even though the recession was officially over in 1991, no one was hiring in 1992. Anyone who is job hunting now has my sympathies). And the letter disputing a credit issue that was about 25 years old is gone. You should have seen the cute stationery I typed it on (yes, typed).

Add all that to stressful week at work and I've been in tears all week. I guess it really has been a triple whammy. Thank goodness Monday is a holiday. Hopefully an extra day off will bring some much needed rest.

Stress

Stress = a month ago, we learned about some unscheduled projects with absurdly short deadlines and limited information. No problem. We'll fit them into our schedule.

Stress = three weeks ago, there was a reorganization and layoffs and we'll be absorbing some of that work into our department. I'll be in charge of that. No problem, I can do that.

Stress = about three weeks ago, we hired a contractor to help with the increased workload and to take the place of someone going out on maternity leave. Yay, extra help! Hmmm, guess who has to help bring her up to speed? No problem, it is part of my job.

Stress = two weeks ago there was a reorganization and my manager has a new manager, plus will be managing another group. No problem, we're team players. No matter that my manager doesn't have enough hours in the day to take manage the staff he has now, plus take care of all the special projects managers seems to have.

Stress = two weeks ago, had to do my self-evaluation. I just love doing them...NOT! And it isn't like there's money in the budget for merit increases. No problem, it is a part of being employed at a big company. Got it done.

Stress = one week ago, I gained half a pound and haven't been able to get rid of it. Not a big deal with everything else going on, but d@amn it, I'm trying to loose weight, not gain weight.

Stress = 4 days ago, in the morning, I noticed radiator fluid leaking from my car. That's okay, I'll drive Mr. Fix-it's car. Opps, nope, because his car was already scheduled to go into the shop. No problem, I'll just be careful on my commute.

Stress = 4 days ago, lunchtime, call to Mr. Fix-it, "How was your Dad's doctor's visit?" Mr. Fix-it gave me the bad news that his dad was taken to the emergency room.

Stress = 4 days ago, afternoon, learned FIL had a heart attack and is in intensive care.

Stress = 4 days ago, late evening, call from BIL, come to the hospital now, things don't look good. It is heartbreaking to watch your loved one make copies of his father's advanced directive (which the hospital should have had already) and get the business card for the funeral home, just in case.

Stress = 4 days ago, even later in the evening, had "the talk" with FIL about what he wanted done if things got worse.

Stress = 3 days ago, 1:30 in the morning. Had the same talk with the doctor. Finally, we came home, but didn't sleep much.

Stress = 3 days ago, morning, pick up BIL from the airport and drive directly to the hospital. I sure hope I remember how to get there. D@mn, we're all exhausted. FIL looks a tiny bit better, but his vitals are jumping all over the place.

Stress = 3 days ago. Talked to the doctor. FIL is up to 50/50 chance of survival (up from the 20% of a few hours ago), but it may be weeks before he can come home, if ever. I go home just to get away from the hospital, make some phone calls, pick up my laptop so I can get some work done, and head back. Call Mr. Fix-it to make sure he doesn't need anything. When I get to the hospital 20 minutes later, FIL's room is empty and I don't see family anywhere...I'm in shock. Luckily, a staff member sees me and finds out where FIL was moved...literally, down the hall.

Stress = 2 days ago, try to play catchup at work. Being out one day really puts you behind schedule. Call Mr. Fix-it for an update. What do you mean they might release your father tomorrow??!!?

FIL came home yesterday, doctor says he should live a normal life, but will tire easily. BIL is staying with him for a while. We need to improve FIL's diet. Hopefully, life will get back to normal soon, whatever normal is.

Difficult decision

I've been getting updates about my aunt in San Francisco and the news isn't good. Basically, she's getting liquids via IV for comfort, but nothing else. I suspect it will be less than a week before she goes.

So now the decision part. Should I go up for the funeral? A and I have plans for a mini vacation. Is vacation more important than showing support for the family (which is what I think funerals are for)? Usually, I would say not. But we haven't taken a vacation in two years. I know A would understand, but I would feel terrible canceling.

If I do go to the funeral, it would be to support my mom. A little to support my uncle. But really, if I hadn't gone to China this year, I wouldn't have seen my aunt and uncle. Before this, I hadn't seen them since my wedding, oh so many years ago. So I probably wouldn't have even considered going (except to support my mom). I'm all torn up over this. I hate having to make these kinds of decisions.

Stressed, who me?

I've got a lot going on right now, planning for a trip (more on that in a future post), changes in management at work, trying to get layouts done for scrapfest. I had to drive downtown today and if you know me, you know how much fun it was for me. Thank goodness we have a car with GPS. The drive took waaaay longer than I planned, the wait to take care of my business was waaaaaaay longer than I planned. A HUGE thank you to the lady who gave me her number. It probably cut off an hour or two off my wait. So I gave my number to someone else. It probably saved him three hours.

I'm overplanning, overthinking, worried about things out of my control. And the bad thing is, I'm not stressed enough to be losing weight. Just stressed enough to be stressed.