Generosity

Does a generous nature come naturally or is it something that is taught? Unfortunately, generosity isn't something I'm known for. And when I do give, it is a forced effort. I wish it weren't.

Take today for instance. I wanted to buy a little gift for a former coworker who just had a baby. If she were still at the office, someone would volunteer (or get nominated) to buy a group gift or gift card or both. Everyone would contribute whatever they wanted and it would all be anonymous since it is usually our admin who collects the funds and you won't find anymore more discrete than her. Back to the baby gift. See, we didn't socialize outside of the offce. I didn't even get an (e-mail) announcement. But I do want to congratulate her on this big change in her life. So how much do I spend? Is a card enough? Should I buy a gift equal to what I would have contributed to a group gift? If I buy just a token gift, am I cheap? Do I overthink these things?

J and I talked about this a few times and we agree that we weren't brought up to be generous. Maybe that it was because we didn't have a lot of extras growing up so there wasn't anything to give. And on the receiving side, when we were given something, we always wondered what strings were attached to it. How grateful you were supposed to be to receive it. What you were supposed to do in return. So "gifts" were looked upon with suspicion.

I am fortunate to have friends with big hearts that I try to emulate. But even so, I am still having trouble being generous.