How I continue to avoid technology

I went to the bank today (actually an S&L) to ask about the monthly fee they were implementing for my checking account. With the last two takeovers, my account type was grandfathered in and I was never charged a monthly fee because I have direct deposit. I was hoping for the same thing this time. The banker (should I call him an S&Ler?) asked for my ID and ATM card. Sorry, I don't use the ATM. How about a debit card? Sorry, don't have one of those either. But here's my checkbook with the account number. Unfortunately, with this latest takeover, my direct deposit amount isn't high enough to avoid a monthly fee. Fortunately, since I have multiple accounts there, something else qualified me for free checking (but now that I think about it, I think he was looking at the wrong account so now I have to go back and clarify).

Then he asked me if I'd like to sign up for e-mails. No thanks. Online banking? No thanks. Did I have a cell phone? Yes. Would I like to receive texts? Nope, don't have texting on my phone. I think I confused him. I'm pretty sure most customers aren't like me, lol.